Living in the Moment

Love it...

2011-07-21T13:51:00.001-07:00

I don't even want to add my own words- hers are ALL TO perfect!

What I'm Loving Wednesday...

2011-07-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd finally join in one of these posts- as I have been meaning to do a "things I love" post for awhile....I'm linking up with Jamie at {this kind of love}. This is my first WILW so here goes...

So- here goes- this is what I'm Loving: this week...

I'm Loving: Snow Bunny bronzer by Too Faced! This is a first for me- I have never bought bronzers or even had the urge to try them because I am pretty fair and felt they may make me look orange. I gave this one a try and I actually really like it. I have to be careful how much I use though.....because if I overdo it at all I do look orange. I also have to blend very well with a tissue after applying so it looks more natural. Never the less- I still really like it.

Second I'm Loving: Bumble and Bumble's Surf Spray. Wasn't if this would even work on my hair but let me just say- it does! I L.O.V.E!!!!! I have extremely thin, fine hair and it still was so easy to use and actually gave me beachy waves that even the real beach can't do. I even live in So Cal (45 min from the beach) and my hair looks better with this product.

Next I'm Loving: Pinterest! I hesitated for the longest time on joining this site because I knew I'd become addicted- and I was right! I LOVE IT- LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I have to be careful even signing in because I could spend hours "pinning" things :)

Next I'm Loving: this dress from WHBM!! We are going to Vegas this weekend for our 5 year wedding anniversary and this is what I am wearing to Garth Brooks on Friday night! I'm super excited!!! It was on clearance too...

I'm also Loving: Never thought I would EVER wear a heel this high but I tried them on and fell in love with them. Again they are from WHBM and they go with the dress above so perfectly! Super, Super excited for Friday night! (pictures from our weekend will definitely be posted)

I'm Loving: Picked this up the other day at Sephora just to give it a try. I have looked and looked for something to keep my make-up on all day and never ever has anything worked. I've tried primers, moisturizers, powders etc and it all still starts to slide and fade as the day goes on. I wear Bare Minerals (thats also a product I LOVE)...It was a bit pricey- but I'm finding that most UD products are....however totally worth the $$. My make-up "set" and stayed literally all day. The true test will be this Friday night- when we are out and about all night.

I'm Loving: Another UD product- I {HEART} this eye shadow. It's all I ever wear now- day or night- formal or casual- I use this palette and think I will forever! I haven't used the blues/grays at the end but the rest of the colors are amazing! The primer it comes with is ok- but I prefer the prep-n-prime from Mac better.

Seriously- there are SO MANY other products that I could post on here but I will wait and save them for next week. For now- I am off to pack and get ready for my weekend in

Happy Wednesday!

I {heart} Pinning!

2011-07-11T15:06:00.000-07:00

I have found a new addiction! I avoided it for weeks- knowing that I would fall victim to yet another website but just couldn't resist anymore after finding so many cute things! I requested an invite from a friend and now- have become A.D.D.I.C.T.E.D!

I haven't even skimmed the surface of this website yet I can already feel myself not wanting to ever get off the computer! From work clothes, to hair styles, handbags, decorating ideas, books, recipes etc-you name it it's on there! OH the fun I am about to have.

Here's how it works- you set up your "boards" more like virtual bulletin boards and "pin" things that you like. It's a way to keep all of your ideas on the computer in one place! And you can see what other's have already pinned and how they set up their boards.

Some of my boards are- {teaching style}, {books worth reading}, {yummy goodness}, {color wishes}, {products I heart}, {too cute}, {family and home} and many many more- I have {24} boards in all!

Now I don't have to save each individual idea as a bookmark. My brain is already swimming with ideas for {boards} and things I want to search for.....cheesy I know!

Check it out! I promise it will not disappoint!

Happy Pinning!

Babies are babies forever... if only in photos.

2011-07-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

I don't really have "baby" anymore- but more of a big girl :( It's all so bitter sweet! I am LOVING every single minute with Lyla but when I start to look back at how little and tiny she used to be - I start missing that little baby. It's hard to remember her being that small....

This is our 'baby' now:

She's come so far from this:

I have repeated the lines of this poem since Lyla was born- she is growing way to fast!

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

I wish there was a way to stop time- or even just slow it down a bit...

Permissive Parents- Curb Your Brats!

2011-07-09T11:35:00.000-07:00

Great Article written on parenting! I literally could have written it myself. I can't tell you how many times I have been in a store with my mom or husband and looked at a kid running wild and thought "Wow- this is not a playground, where are the parents?" I vowed that when I had kids that I would not let my kid be "that kid" and the minute she starts to throw a tantrum we walk out of the store- (side note* I am in NO WAY a perfect parent-just not going to raise a brat!)

Check out the article:
Permissive Parents: Curb Your Brats

Please excuse the interruption...

2011-06-22T15:43:00.000-07:00

but I am going to blog about the most awesomest website ever real quick.....I found Vocalpoint through another friend and signed up- I am IN LOVE. It is an amazing website that sends you coupons, samples and other offers on products that you choose. I got a coupon for free creamer and Frosted Mini wheats and also coupons to share with my friends.

Well- I am excited because today they are offering coupons and a free sample for Mots for Tots. Lyla loves this stuff and it's really the only "juice" we buy for her. From the website: Mott's for Tots^® has 40% less sugar than 100% apple juice and a great taste kids love—it's an easy and healthy way to spoil 'em.

Click below to get your free sample and coupons!!! I am seriously loving this website and can really use all the savings they offer! Happy shopping!

www.vocalpoint.com/mottsfortots

Daddy's Girl

2011-06-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

This is Lyla's father's day gift to her daddy- some of the transitions and photos got a bit screwy during exporting but hopefully I can get it all fixed this week!

Irritation

2011-06-18T20:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just get irritated at the world. Like now. For no ::real:: reason- I mean there is a reason but my mood has now just been totally thrown off and I don't want to see or talk to anyone. I wish I could just be by myself-haha!

I hate having to work around other people and their schedules! (There I said it-yes I can be selfish and self- centered most of the time).....I am just irritated with plans for tomorrow. Things were set and done and good and then they get changed! UGH- for a planner and type A change is not a good thing for me!

complaining over... Since tomorrow is Father's day and I am truly blessed to have such an amazing husband who is seriously, in my eyes, the best Father I have ever seen- I am going to put on my happy face and make it a good day!

Now- for tonight I think I'll have a glass of this: Sweet Pea Apple Wine (MY FAVE)

And watch some of this-RHONY

Good night!

Same Blog- New Title

2011-06-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

Changed the title to the blog- I just wasn't ::happy:: with it- and felt like it was to 'cliche'. SO- being that I am a ~~type A~~, ~~OCD like~~, extremely anxious person, I thought that living in the moment was much more fitting.

I try every. single. day. to live in the moment and live for what today brings! I am truly blessed to have such an amazing husband and beautiful daughter. I am learning to appreciate them and the moments life brings, or throws, at me every single day.

As a Starbucks Addict...

2011-06-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

I feel deeply saddened by the situation that took place at an East Coast Starbucks....I came across this 'letter' and SB's response via Twitter.

I am horrified by the sequence of events that allegedly took place and hope that this is solved quickly and fairly.

This is the blog where the letter to Starbucks is posted:
Letter

This is SB's response:
response

I'm going to get on my soap box for a minute and state that I am 100% supportive of the gay community. With several family members and friends who are gay- I have no tolerance for discrimination!

The way the people choose to live their lives is not for me or anyone else to judge. That is what the Lord is for- I myself have a different lifestyle but I can be accepting and supportive of those who are gay.

I just want them & I want them in a basket and with bow ties...

2011-06-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

Sorry if this is EXTREMELY mean of me but this video just MADE my day!

I found it through another blog that I follow and well....just watch it's hilarious!

wonder how many men responded to this crazy cat lady....

in a rainbow??

really?............. is this a joke???

Hair...some girly fun.

2011-06-08T14:40:00.000-07:00

Before I begin- I know that this is our family blog but it's gotta have some girly fun too. With that said- this post is dedicated to all things Hair- I am obsessed with my hair- like I mean it can make or break my day.

I have been following Confessions of a 20 Something by Pink LouLou and I am addicted. She is my new inspriation! I think she is an awesome girl not to mention beautiful and an almost exact replica of Carrie Underwood :)

ANYWAYS- I am always trying new things to do with my hair and how to get more volume- I saw this post yesterday and was soooooo inspired. THEN I saw this POST and was even more excited!

Since Lyla was napping- I figured I had a bit of time to :play: with my hair.....I used hot rollers ( need to purchase some velcro roller asap) to get more volume. I was already familar with teasing to get more volume and the :poof: but wanted it bigger- after taking all of Pink Loulou's advice and playing around I came up with this:
a messy side bun!
I did have to :poof: my ponytail first because I have extremely thin and fine hair and it wouldn't have worked if I didn't.

Back View:

Side Views;

Bangs:

Front: (Excuse the PJ's)

Sorry the pic quality is so bad- I used my iPhone instead of going back upstairs to get my camera- yes I am that lazy :)

More to come as I experiment more- I do think I want to go a bit lighter on my hair for summer- luckily I have an appt next week- so we shall see.

Plans...

2011-05-31T11:32:00.000-07:00

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

The above bible verse is the verse that we have decided to choose for Lyla. We are going to have it engraved on a frame and hang it in her room. The goal is to reference the verse whenever she may need it as she is growing up. She will know that the LORD is her savior and the one who will lead her in life.

Our biggest goal in life is that Lyla will come and know the Lord and have a loving relationship with him. I reference this verse quite often and use it in my own daily life. I can be a very controlling, over anxious-OCD type of person and sometimes I need to take a step back and remember that He is in ultimate control....

I am planning a HUGE update post but will have to wait until Little Miss is napping so I can upload new pictures :) More to come....

Finally- a new design

2011-05-30T22:36:00.001-07:00

:) much cleaner and simple.

Now to update on us and our day to day life....I promise- tomorrow.

Makeover Needed!

2011-04-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

I am in DESPERATE need of a blog make over but I am not good at stuff like that! SO- I am entering a give away to win a new blog makeover!!!!!

:)

Check out Munchkin Land Designs.....Talk about CUTE!! I haven't won any of the giveaways that I have entered in the blogging world- but may be this will be the one. I sure hope so!!!

Donate LIfe ....

2011-03-24T16:52:00.000-07:00

On April 30th- I will be participating in a 5k marathon for Organ Donation. My sister is an intern at one of the local hospitals and she is participating so I'm going to do it with her.

http://www.donatelifeoc.org/

I started "training" today- I am WAY, WAY out of shape but it feels good to at least be exercising. I downloaded the couch to 5k app for my iPhone and did Run 1 Week1 today. I'm not going to say it was easy- it took a lot out of me but I think I can do it. I'm not expecting to much but I feel good about participating. I have never been in a marathon before so I'm pretty excited!

I already believe in organ donation- have my pink sticker on my license that says I'm a donor- so supporting organ donation just seems right.

Wish me luck :)

A new addiction-Scrappin Doodles

2011-02-21T20:35:00.001-08:00

YIKES I came across an AMAZING website from all the teacher blogs I follow and I L.O.V.E it! I am now going to start a scrapbook for Lyla! I want her to have one for her first year of life! I'm so excited...I'm going to do it all digitally....the stuff on scrappin doodles is SO CHEAP! I'll just put it all together on my computer- and not have to lug out all my scrapbook junk every time I want to complete a page!

I'm excited!!! Now I'm going to have to check out scrapbook steals (from same website as babysteals!- which I was addicted to when I was pregnant and Lyla was an infant!) I think I have a new obsession :)

Wisdom...

2011-02-10T20:28:00.000-08:00

well- I don't actually have any wisdom but I do have to have two of my wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow morning at 8! U.G.H.!!! We have no school and the hubs and I were planning on taking Lyla to Disneyland tomorrow (we have passes) but NOPE the dentist has other plans and I say BOOO to that!

What a great way to start off and spend a 3 day weekend...... :(

One of those days....

2011-01-27T17:40:00.000-08:00

not a bad day- just one of those days where I wanted so desperately to come home and put on my PJ's....then sit in the recliner w/ my feet up with a glass of wine and relax! This has been one LONG week!

We're watching Mrs. Doubtfire right now- I love this movie! Lyla is on another one of her crazy tears! It's like a tornado went off as soon as she enters a room. She is currently in A's office tearing that apart.

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday! 2 days to sleep in, relax, read and get some much needed laundry done!

Got to get better ...

2011-01-23T14:33:00.000-08:00

at blogging!!! I just never have time...BUT it will now be a priority (or at least more important).

Our little girl is, as of today, 14 months old! WOW. is all I can say! Where did the time go. When did she turn into a toddling, talking, fit throwing, adorable little person?? I have so much fun with her-she makes me laugh and smile every single day!

I can't wait to come home for work just to sit on the floor and play with her. I live for her hugs and kisses and could kiss on her forever. I love the little new things she picks up on each day.....it's amazing how fast she is growing and learning.

She is a "daddy's girl" through and through and will do anything to be with her daddy. She also seems to be somewhat of a 'tom boy' and is not girly or into anything girl (like bows) at all! She's perfectly happy with nothing in her hair and just a onsie on.....one day she will love shopping :)

She is full on walking...trying to run, talking up a storm, hitting the dog when she gets mad, eating anything we eat and screaming when she is unhappy....(that was all pretty random)...I didn't think out this post before I started typing.

Lyla has 8 teeth (4 on top and 4 on bottom)- her favorite word right now is "Hi"- which we get with the biggest smile ever! I can't help but smile when I walk in and she says "HI" as loud as she can and smiles as big as she can. She waves and says bye bye whenever someone leaves. When daddy drops her off at Grandma's in the morning - she waves bye bye to him and then proceeds to slam the front door in his face and get started with her day (aka her big breakfast Grandma has for her every day)....she gets cuter by the day and I ask myself every. single. day.-how did we get so lucky? How did I get the cutest baby in the world?

Coming back!

2010-07-14T17:03:00.001-07:00

I am going to start blogging again! But first it's time for a makeover...coming soon!

Lyla's Birth

2009-12-02T11:17:00.000-08:00

Lyla McKenna
11.23.09 (via c-section)
8:12 PM
7lb 7oz- 21 inches long

The night started out very stressful! I had gotten a berating phone call from my step-mother telling me everything that she thought was wrong with me and so I had been very upset that night. I had started spotting but didn't think anything of it. I thought I'd just lay down and take it easy. Little did I know a few hours later...that would all change.....

My water broke on Sunday, November 22, at 11:30 PM. I was laying in bed- hubby and I had just finished watching a show on the DVR when all of a sudden I felt this pain and pop! I got up to use the restroom and immediately knew my water had broken! There was some blood and I was 'leaking' even after going pee. I yelled to hubby that I thought my water had broke. I don't think he believed me! I called the Kaiser nurse advice line and they said that it sounded like my water had broke and that I neeedd to get in there quickly! This is where hubby went into panic mode! I think I was in shock! I couldn't believe my water had actually broken! We grabbed the hospital bag, diaper bag and pillows. Hubby packed himself a bag and started packing the car. We got car-seat in and left. I still couldn't believe that I actually was going to have a baby in 24 hours or less.

We drove to the hospital - about 30 min away- luckily I wasn't having any contractions so the ride was fine. On the way we started calling people- mainly close family. When we arrived at the hospital and I got out of the car- thats when I felt the gush and like I had literally peed my pants. It was the longest most uncomfortable walk up to L&D that I have ever made. They got me checked in and in a triage room and then proceeded to check if it was actually my water that had broken. YEP - it had! They were going to admit me!

I still wasn't having any contractions but was starting to feel really nauseous! They put me in a room and told me that I was going to have to be put on pitocin because my contractions just weren't picking up. I was very reluctant to get it because I knew that might interfere w/ my plan to go naturally. I didn't have a choice- the doc wanted me started on it- so I agreed. It took a bit for it to kick in but once it did- man did the contractions start to hurt! They were all over the place too! Sometimes I'd get 5 min between- sometimes 2- sometimes 3. They kept increasing the pitocin though. I was trying my absolute hardest to breathe through them! I made it about 2 hours before I literally couldn't breath through them anymore. I asked for pain med- they gave me nubain but it didn't work! I didn't want any noise in the room during my contractions and still had to struggle to breathe through them ....I was making progress though. I was dilating just fine.

At about 8- the contractions were getting even stronger! I had never been in so much pain in my life! I looked at my husband and said- I just wanted the epidural- I couldn't do it! I had been on the pitocin since 1 AM! The epidural -intially - worked great!!!! It worked until about 1 or 2 PM......then the pressure started in my back. It got progressively worse. I was still dilating at a good rate. The pressure got so bad that I wanted to push- but I was only at a 7 or 8 so I couldn't. I finally had to get something for it- I'm not sure what they gave me but it was something that took away the extreme pressure. I rested a bit until that eventually wore off too! At about 5:30 PM the nurse checks me again and says I am at about 9.5 but still have a lip. The OB came in and said that we will give it one more hour or I have to have a c-section. I laid there and hoped and hoped that I'd make progress!!! My contractions just weren't getting strong enough or long enough on their own!

6:30 PM- no progress! Stuck at 9.75 and still have a lip! I have to have the c-section. This is where I started to shake uncontrollably! I was scared and literally exhausted! I hadn't slept all night or day. It took about an hour before they took me into the O.R.- I got in there and they started me on the pain meds. Everything was fine at first....then I started to feel what they were doing. The epidural wasn't working! I do remember them getting her out and hubby going to cut the cord....but after that it all gets hazy! They drugged me pretty bad after that for the pain. I was completely knocked out! She was born at 8:12 PM and all I remember the anesthesiologist saying is that she was born at 2012 - like the movie. I then remember going into recovery and couldn't wake up! I wanted to hold and nurse my baby so bad but couldn't come out of it. It took me two hours. Andrew held her the whole time! :) Finally at like 10:30 almost 11 I was taken up to my room. I still couldn't hold her because my blood pressure was to high. I finally go to do skin to skin w/ her around midnight!

Turns out Lyla was sunny side up! The OB said that when he cut me open all he saw was baby staring up at him. He told me I never would have delivered vaginally! And that I will probably most likely have to have c-sections from now on since she was mal-positioned. but thats ok w/ me! She was so worth it!

Lyla

2009-11-17T14:51:00.001-08:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

33 weeks (read: uncomfortable)

2009-10-16T15:38:00.000-07:00

I'm officially uncomfortable! I'm 33 weeks tomorrow and feel like how am I going to make it 7 more weeks? I wish I could say I was feeling fine- and all in all I am but my fingers and feet are swelling, I cannot get comfortable in any position anymore standing or laying and sleep- well sleep is just gone out the window for now!

Sleeping at night has become a real pain! I've definitely developed insomnia and on top of that I can never get comfortable! I know its all for a good cause and won't matter in the end but I'm suffering now! I forget what it feels like to not be pregnant! Haha- I forget what it feels like to not have a belly in the way! At least I'm off work and can relax most days but when I'm out and about - I get tired very easily, my back and ribs hurt and I start to swell. The swelling is highly irritating because I can feel it! My fingers and feet feel all tight!

Tomorrow is our baby shower! To be honest, I just really hope we get the things we need! We have nothing- Literally nothing except for crib and changing table. We are very much aware that there will be plenty of things we will still have to buy I'm just hoping it's not an insane amount of stuff! There were quite a few people who flaked and "can't" come......so that kind of sucked but hopefully it will still be a good turnout. It's weird knowing that MY baby shower is tomorrow- I've always gone to them for other people- just never really processed that I might have my own one day!

I think tonight I'm going to go home- put my feet up and ice on my ribs and just relax! I don't want to be all swollen again tomorrrow!

Costochondritis

2009-09-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

I have a diagnosis!! Finally! I have been experiencing severe pain under my rib cage on my right side. It started a few weeks ago and has gotten progressively worse! I thought it was just heartburn at first but nothing would help. I would try tums, rolaids, previcid, nexium etc and no relief! I finally called my OB and she sent me to L & D- where they did a bunch of tests! They checked my gall bladder, kidneys, liver, spleen etc and everything came back absolutely normal. Baby looked great! They sent me home telling me there was nothing they could do.

I kept getting asked if it was food related- well it's not! It does flare up pretty badly after a big meal but I am also in pain all night long and in the morning when I still have an empty stomach. The pain has been getting progressively worse and worse.I have times where it's just a tingly, dull ache and then times where it's a full blown stabbing, burning pain! I have trouble breathing at times- sitting can be excruciating! The only time I seem to get 'some' relief is when I am laying down or reclining.

The good news is that I finally saw my OB today and she diagnosed me with costochondritis- an inflammation of the cartilage between my rib cage and breast bone. It is a painful condition that comes with pregnancy. It is due the extra estrogen that is being produced. From what I have learned- the cartilage is being compressed and is becoming soft. I hope it goes away after the baby comes. Bad news: there is nothing they can do. Best thing to take is motrin and I can't take that during pregnancy. The Dr. told me to start wrapping the area in an ace bandage which I have done right now but so far no relief!

I am being take off work after next week because of the pain- so I'll have plenty of time to get ready for baby!

Other then that- today's appt went great- so far weight gain is 10 lbs total! I seemed to have stopped gaining weight. But I also can't eat much these days. The baby sits very high so that doesn't leave much room in my stomach but also the more I eat the more pain I am in. The Dr. didn't say anything about it but she did say that baby is measuring perfectly and HB sounded great!

100th post and 4D u/s pictures!!

2009-09-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

Wow- I've finally reached my hundred post!!!! Hmmmm maybe I should go back and see what all I've had to say....probably not much to interesting :)

Yesterday, we had the 3d/4d ultrasound done- DH set it all up. My Dr. doesn't do it so we had to go outside for it but man was it worth it! I was so amazed by my little girl! It was so neat to see her and see her facial features- I think she is perfect already. I fell in love with her like I can't explain. It's weird but to me she is already the most beautiful little girl in the world! I can't wait to meet her and see her for real- but December seem so far away- especially with all the discomfort she is starting to cause me :)

Here are some of her pictures!

Big Decisions

2009-08-31T18:46:00.000-07:00

Andrew and I are facing some big, big decisions!! I'm so torn and I just can't seem to make up my mind. We need to decided what to do with our house.....living situation.

We live about 40 miles away from where we work so we commute everyday- we carpool so we save on gas that way but the drive still sucks. On top of the commute we are paying a HOA (Home owners association)- which is KILLING us! We do currently own our condo and I love it! The mortgage is VERY high and the bank is unwilling to work with us. We have tried everything and since we have never been late or missed a payment we can't get any help. If we go through a law firm they want to charge us 3500-well we can't afford that either.....so we have a few options:

a) stop paying mortgages (scariest thought ever), put money away- hope that the bank will modify our loan.....

b) stop paying mortgages- short sell condo and move closer to work and family and rent for about 3 years. (this will screw up credit majorly!!)

c) continue paying mortgage- try one more time to get modified with the bank.

I am soooo torn and undecided! I don't know what to do!!! I love, love my condo- it was our first home and breaks my heart that we might have to leave it. We bought it brand new....customized it to fit us, painted it and everything. I also keep thinking of how much money we could be saving if we rented for a few years- at least 1400 a month that we could save! We'd be closer to both of our works and both families. It would get rid of the commute - which with a baby I'm not sure how easy a commute is going to be! I feel like we are so stuck! This economy has screwed everything up and I never thought we'd be in this decision. I'm glad I have my husband to go through all of this with- I just wish the answer was clear! I guess all I can do is pray about it and hope to get some guidance!

Whats new?

2009-08-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

I didn't pass my 1 hour test! How did I freaken know? So this morning hubby and i got up at 6:30 to go the lab and do the 3 hour test- it sucked!! I hope I pass this one! I thought I was doing so good- only gained 10 lbs so far and really watch what I eat! But I missed the one hour by 2 points! Guess I'll find out on Monday or Tuesday- and to top it all off I have a cold! My 1st graders have been sneezing and coughing all over the place and I guess even after all the Purell I used- It didn't help! Blah- off to nap!

Because I just feel like it.....

2009-08-10T19:39:00.000-07:00

I feel like complaining--- but not about much! Just a few things...

1- My Back: I am tired of my back hurting! It hurts EVERY SINGLE night - no fail! And all the OB could say was the it would get worse and to use bengay! UM HELLO- that is short term and obviously not working!

2- My feet: my feet hurt now- no matter what kind of shoes I wear!!

3- I am having stomach issues! Major upset stomach issues- and I don't mean throwing up! I've had it since Thursday and it's not going away- I finally called the doc today- she said take Kaeopectate - and if it continues to go into Labor and Delivery-WOW that's scary! I hope I don't have to go into L&D! Let's hope it goes away!

Now- on to something good- I have managed to go a whole week w/ no weight gain! I am up 8 pound total- at 23 weeks! I'm pretty proud of myself! I guess it doesn't help that I have been so busy getting ready for back to school that I don't have time to lay around on the couch and just eat all day like I did when I was off all summer!!!

Today was the 1st day of school (read: my first day w/ first graders)- Wow- they are so cute and so little but VERY different from the 3rd graders that I am used to. I felt so busy that I barely had time to take a deep breath today!

And just because I have posted on in a LONG time a new belly pic:

21 weeks

Wow- it's been awhile!

2009-07-27T22:47:00.000-07:00

Soooo- I took a break from blogging! A long, long break for many reasons but I'm back!!!!

I've been on summer break since June and loving every minute of it! I finally went back into my classroom today and it did feel good to get back and have something to do during the day! I have to admit that I did NOTHING all summer- I layed on the couch and vegged in my PJ's most days! I'm excited to get back into a routine and start teaching 1st grade- I needed a change!!!!

As far as pregnancy goes- everything is perfect- Doctors appt today went perfectly! All my tests came back great- anatomy is great and we got to hear her HB for the first time ever!! I think my husband was in absolute awe! Her HB was beating soooo fast- it was neat to hear!!! It's like wow- there is a live human in there! I am feeling her kick more now- and they are getting stronger and stronger each week......Andrew still can't feel her yet but hopefully soon! She's most active in the morning and evening time. BUT whenever I put my hand on my stomach to see if I can feel her from the outside- she just stops moving! :( She can be a fiesty one though! :)

My next appt is in 4 weeks and thats when I'll do the glucose test! I hope I pass- My SIL didn't pass and ended up w/ Gestional diabetes.

My biggest concern right now is maintaining a healthy weight! I have gained 8 lbs total since before pg! I think that's alot but doc just said it's perfect since I'm already over half way through! I do watch what I eat- work out and drink plenty and plenty of water!! My only complaint is my back pain!!! Every night it gets soo bad! Andrew rubs my back every night- the only thing the OB would say was- "yea, that's going to get worse!"- she showed me some exercises I need to start doing every morning- she also said to put bengay on my back at night! But man- it sucks!!! Every night w/ out fail - it starts hurting no matter how little or how much I did during the day! The Dr. also gave me Phenegran for my nausea since it's getting worse and not better?!?!?

Andrew and I celebrated 3 years of being married last Wednesday- we are going on 10 years together! I can't believe it! I can't believe how fast time is flying! It seems like just yesterday we were graduating high school and just dating! He is an amazing husband and being so supportive during this pregnancy! I couldn't ask for more support!! Anyways- thats enough rambling for one post- need to save something for future posts since I've been so bad about blogging!!

It's A.......

2009-06-30T14:32:00.001-07:00

GiRL!!

U/S yesterday confirmed that we are having a girl! I am so excited! I honestly would have been surprised if the u/s tech said BOY! We started our registry and now just trying to let it set in that we are having a daughter! Andrew really wanted a girl so he is getting his daughter- I'm so excited- it's like all of a sudden this has become real!

Some Pics:

14 and 16 wk pics

2009-06-25T19:06:00.000-07:00

I am now only posting belly pics on my blog since it's private and won't be putting them on JM anymore.....but wow- my belly looks bigger in pictures then in real life! What a difference from 14 to 16 weeks!

14 wks:

16 wks (actually closer to 17-forgot to take pic)

Test

2009-06-23T10:57:00.001-07:00

just testing - for angela to see if I am fully private now! :)

Going PRIVATE!

2009-06-22T09:24:00.000-07:00

I am going private from now on for certain reasons! This was meant as a public blog for everyone- not just certain people but I would feel more comfortable going private!I can't state my opinion and just vent on here comfortably w/ this being pubic anymore. I love all of my followers - please, please email me and i will add you to the list! I will only be public for a few more days! Please email me if you want access!

reeds.ac@gmail.com

Stole from T...

2009-06-11T16:51:00.000-07:00

Roll Call.....

I stole this from T's blog! - thought it was interesting!!

Who are you?

Where are you from?

Do I have you on my blog roll? If not, I want to read you too!

Kids? TTC? Expecting?

Any hobbies?

Favorite ice cream flavor?

In 3 words, describe yourself:

If you could meet anyone (alive or dead) who would it be and why?

All moved......

2009-06-10T18:10:00.000-07:00

I am officially out of my third grade classroom and into my first grade classroom! Andrew came today and moved EVERYTHING- to bad my new classroom is half the size of my old one! (literally!) haha! I have ALOT to put away! I'm going in tomorrow - even though I don't have to- to start putting everything away. My niece is coming to help me- she likes to clean :)

Friday I'm getting my hair done and finishing up some things for the baby shower (my friend's shower) on Saturday...I'm so excited to get my hair done!!! I still need to find something to wear though! I always dread finding something to wear! Hope it's not that hard!!

Just to prove hubby wrong.

2009-06-08T18:09:00.001-07:00

Andrew said tonight that I haven't been blogging on a regular occurrence so I will now! I think he looks forward to having something to read every day :) Thing is- I never know what to blog about. I have a huge post I'd like to make about education just don't want to launch into that right now! Things in my field are getting BAD...we had a really horrible meeting on Friday morning- and while I will have a job next year-I will be taking a 2% paycut and possibly facing being laid off next year....things are getting very scary in the world of education!

I guess if I get laid off- I'll file for unemployment- not like there is any where else I can go....no school district is hiring- all of them are letting people go! Andrew mentioned possibly moving out of state- which I guess we may have to seriously consider if things get bad enough- now, which state? And we'd have to get my mom to move w/ us! :) Just gotta get through next year and I'll know more- which I won't even be working all next year because of maternity leave :)

oops

2009-06-07T18:26:00.001-07:00

I didn't know it had been almost 2 weeks since my last post- things have been so busy at work w/ the end of the year, changing grade levels and changing rooms that I must have forgot! Nothing new is going on here....I'm changing grade levels next year- going from 3rd to 1st and I'm so excited!! I need a change!!! I have a lot to do this week w/ moving classroom but I'm to excited to care!

3 days of school left!! Woohoo! I can't wait for summer! I'm especially excited for June 29- we finally find out what we are having!!! I am leaning towards girl but don't want to get my hopes up because honestly i will be happy w/ whatever it is! We picked out bedding for both a girl and a boy last weekend- man is there more to pick from for girls then boys!!! Kinda sucks!!! I think over summer we are really going to get the nursery started!!

Our 3 year wedding anniversary is coming up! I can't believe it's already been 3 years. I love being married - I love being married to my husband. We have a good life....money may be tight and we may not do the most extravagant things but we have a good life and I'm happy for what we do have. I'm hoping we can at least get away for a night or two this summer. We always go on a vacation in the summer but w/ money being so tight this year we probably won't go anywhere big. I'm hoping to at least go maybe to San Diego, Long Beach.....somewhere close to just get away!!! We haven't been away together since last summer! :( I think we both need it! But we always have to find someone to watch Mason!

Anyways...thats about it for now....busy week ahead!

12 wks

2009-05-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

To be totally honest, I really feel like I'm gaining weight and I am just starting to feel fat- I think I've only gained like 2-4 lbs but still! I can see it in my face!!! Oh well, I guess! Here's the 12 wk pic!

Dinner

2009-05-27T18:44:00.000-07:00

I always seem to look forward to dinner....I love, love, love when I'm actually excited about what we are cooking that night...it makes my whole day! I know all day that I'm going to have a good dinner that night :) but.....then there are those days where dinner just plain sucks! And it just ruins my whole day. It's such a big let down. I don't know why...but it's like my day builds to when I get to go home and cook dinner.

Tonight's dinner- not good! Just not good! Didn't like it and now what ? Nothing? No more dinner nothing until tomorrow nights dinner. I hate it when I don't like dinner!

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!

2009-05-18T18:31:00.000-07:00

What a day! I mean bad, bad, bad day. It all started this morning when Andrew came upstairs while I was still getting ready and said "I think we are going to take Mason w/ us today"...hmmm why? I said....Andrew said "well, one he is not looking to good- I'm afraid he is sick and two it looks like someone was in our back yard last night." Wait, what? I was way confused..someone in our back yard. Sure enough- someone was! I remember looking in the back yard last night as I was putting the fan in the window....the bottles of plant food that are standing up in the planter were not knocked on their sides. The guy jumped our fence, into the mud- tracked his muddy foot prints all over the concrete- stepped on the stupid BBQ ( seriously who does that?) walked over to our back door and then opened the ice chest...good thing the door was locked but what the heck was he looking for? It seriously scared the crap out of me! How am I supposed to feel safe in my own home? How am I supposed to feel safe sleeping at night- when whoever was in our backyard could clearly see we were home- the TV was on upstairs! We called the sheriffs dept. but there was nothing they could do. We also have alarm people coming out on Friday to start monitoring our alarm! And we are getting a shot gun.

Ready for it to get better? So I was an hour late for work...I had a meeting scheduled for this morning at 8 for a student....but right when I walked into my classroom- stuff was EVERYWHERE! I immediately called the principal and told her that she needed to come down and see the mess. I thought someone had broken into my classroom (it's happened before) I walked into the hall- and what do I see? A squirrel! THere was a squirrel in our pod alll weekend! He chewed my curtains, knocked everything off my windowsill, tore down some of the kids projects that are up for open house, knocked over all the pens and pooped all over the floor! He also got into the other classrooms (there are 4 in my pod) but mine got the worst damage!

I finally make it to my meeting about 20 minutes late....end up late getting to my classroom (lucky I have a student teacher who can take over) .....immediately when I get to my room- another teacher calls mad that my class is not at "play" practice- apparently she misread the email and went to early. She didn't realize her mistake until AFTER we alllll went over to play practice 30 minutes early!

The rest of my day went smooth UNTIL we are finally on our way home and hubby gets ticket for talking on his cell phone! Do you know many dang people talk on their cell phones every d*mn day? and never, ever get caught? SO freaken annoying! He was on the phone w/ our association telling them about the man in our backyard- when the motorcycle cop pulls him over and cites him! What a D*cK!!! I was beyond pissed. Luckily, hubby realized that it's only a 20 dollar fine- he has to go to court in July. Then, my sister calls and says "did guys just get pulled over?" I said yea..ITS NOT FUNNY! She goes- I saw you! I was going to the mall and passed you guys! Needless to say she can't talk- she has more tickets then I can even count! We are finally home and I hope safe for the night! Hopefully tomorrow is much better!

So busy....

2009-05-12T17:55:00.001-07:00

The end of the year is the busiest time for me! 4 weeks to go until Summer!!! We are finishing STAR (state) testing this week, open house next week, third grade show week after that and then camp week and thats it! I can't wait until summer vacation. I can't wait to sleep in and spend all day w/ my Mason. More importantly, I can't wait until June 29- when we find out sex of baby!!!

I stepped down as co-host of TTC#1- I just don't have the time anymore! I always feel guilty when I can't get on and respond to posts or start new posts. It feels better now knowing that I can go on whenever I want, post to who ever I want and ignore whoever I want (haha)...no but it really feels better now that JM is not a responsibility anymore! Plus, it was getting hard responding to some of the posts when I wasn't actually TTC anymore! I felt bad taking the spot when someone else who IS actually still TTC#1 could fill it! Now, I don't feel such a need to log onto JM every night- I can get on when I want. I definitely don't think I'll be applying for co-host of the Dec. DDC- tooooo much drama and that's wayyy to much work! I think I want to spend my summer relaxing by the pool, hanging w/ family and working on the nursery! I guess that's all for now!

Baby's 1st Picture!

2009-05-04T17:23:00.000-07:00

Doctor's appt went great! Dr. said it seemed like a really healthy pregnancy- everything measuring right on! We are now getting excited!!

UGH!

2009-05-02T18:34:00.000-07:00

Some of these pregnancy symptoms are NO FUN! As happy as I am to be pg - I truly, truly am ! I am so constipated (TMI- sorry!) but I am so uncomfortable all the time now! We had a whole day planned today- lunch w/ my mom and stepdad- then shoppping- after lunch all I wanted to do was go home! My stomach hurt to sit and stand! I am hoping to talk to my doc on Monday and see if she can give me something! haha- sorry about my rant but it's really bugging me lately!

Anyways- we have another u/s on Monday- I think Andrew is really excited (and nervous!) We both really want to get a picture and hopefully get to hear the heartbeat!

8 wk pic

2009-04-28T18:52:00.001-07:00

no change:

8w2d and some random things...

2009-04-27T17:17:00.000-07:00

and not much to say...I haven't had much to blog about lately! My symptoms have kicked in and I haven't been feeling well! Nausea is my worse- no throwing up yet but I'm nauseous pretty much all day! My boobs are sore and I'm tired-I think my worst symptom is my gag reflex- it's horrible! I can't stand the smell of anything w/ out gagging! Especially the refrigerator, trash and leftovers!!

I have started to think about possibly ordering hypnobabies- I'm excited. And I'm looking into the Vaccine book! I think we are going w/ delayed vaccinations- where the baby will only get 1 or 2 vaccines per visit- I'm not sure yet- I haven't done my research on all of it yet. But I will have plenty of time this summer!!!

6 more weeks until Summer break! I literally cannot wait! I wish it were tomorrow!!!! I think I am going to work on the nursery this summer! As soon as we find out what it is (june 29!!) I'll start the nursery! I think we are going to have to buy some neutral stuff though so when we have our next baby it can be used again!

Next u/s is May 4 and we are so excited! Hoping to finally get some pics of peanut!!

Peanut has a heartbeat..

2009-04-21T16:20:00.000-07:00

Saw the heartbeat again today- they only did an u/s because my spotting came back this morning and it FREAKED me out....so to put my nerves at rest- doc did an u/s for me. There was a peanut in there- and a heartbeat- beating away. I know I need to relax and that it's good to see a heartbeat but visually when I see that spotting I FREAK out - I can't help it!! Next appt is May 4th...another u/s! I CAN'T wait!!!

Yuck...I can't believe I am posting this!

2009-04-14T19:41:00.000-07:00

here is my first official belly pic- and don't tell me it's cute and don't tell me it looks good because IT DOESN'T! I can't believe how fat I've let myself get!

6 weeks:

U/S update

2009-04-13T16:54:00.001-07:00

Another U/S today- they saw a fetal heart tone at 6w2d (according to LMP) or 5w5d according to O date...that's reasurring! no more bleeding just brown discharge! guess

I'm worried!

2009-04-13T07:53:00.001-07:00

Started spotting wed- went to doc and had U/S- they saw gestational sac w/ what looked like beg of fetal pole- spotting didn't necessarily get worse until Sunday- when it turned red. It went away and was only once but I freaked out! I also had my HcG done on Wed and Fri- on Wed it was 4700 and then Friday it was 6771- SO it didn't double! Another thing that freaks me out! I HATE THIS! My progesterone was at 16- what ever the heck that means! I have to go back to doc this afternoon for blood and appt w/ OB! Hopefully *PRAY* that they see something on the U/S today and that my numbers go even higher! alright enough rambling!

Red Vines

2009-04-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

I, stupidly, left an open package of Red Vines on the filing cabinet in the office this week...they have been there allll week- Well Mason got into them. I thought he was downstairs with Andrew- sleeping. Andrew comes upstairs w/ an empty box of Red VInes in his hands- I thought he had eaten them!!! He tells me that Mason is in trouble! I ask why- he shows me the box and says he ate the rest of the Red Vines that you left open in the office! Now I'm worried if Mason is going to get sick!

BLECK!!

2009-04-07T18:11:00.000-07:00

I had hubby take first belly pics today- YUCK- those will NOT be posted! I am gross and my belly is gross!

Appointments....Check!

2009-04-06T18:27:00.000-07:00

I finally had a free moment today and made my first two pre-natal appointments! First one is this Friday for intake and my first u/s is on Monday, May 4.....

Here's my question..Do I go by LMP or O date?? I only ask because I am a late O'er! I tried to ask the girl making my appt but she kept saying LMP! ARGHH- I dont' think so! My LMP would be 2/28 and I O'ed on 3/17- CD 18!! It makes my dates off! If I go by LMP then I am 5 weeks 2 days- but if I go by O date then I am 4 weeks 6 days.....I'm not sure! It also changes my EDD- either 12/5 or 12/8...guess I have to wait for first u/s!

Announcing ....

2009-04-03T18:18:00.000-07:00

After I for sure thought I was out on Sunday- light spotting, I decided to test last night and got THIS! I'm still a bit in shock but SOOOOOOO excited!!

Prayers, Prayers, Prayers Desperately NEEDED!!!!

2009-04-02T19:33:00.000-07:00

My BFF's husband was in a MAJOR car accident this morning- he is in the hospital, unconscious on a breathing tube! He has screws in both legs now, fractures in his face, some spine injury and they aren't sure of any brain damage yet. She is 25 weeks pregnant! Please, please pray for her and her family and that he wakes up very soon!!!

CT scan revealed nerve damage to his brain! I'm at a loss- he is undergoing a procedure to drain the fluids from his brain!! Please pray!!!!

Life sucks....

2009-03-30T19:42:00.000-07:00

that's about all I want to say right now....back to my pity party.

The Dog is in trouble

2009-03-27T22:40:00.000-07:00

Man! I feel like a horrible dog parent!! I have never been so mad and embarrassed by my dog!!! See it all started like this!

Me: Mason, wanna go for a walk??

Mason: huh?

Hubby: Get his harness on....(note the excitement!)

off we go....

everythings going fine....

My niece decided to bring her soccer ball and well Mason decided that he was going to take it and keep it! (This is where the trouble began!)

There was another pair of English bulldogs also at the park! They were such cuties!! Two females who didn't even need to be on a leash- very, very well trained and super sweet! They were pretty lazy dogs!! After awhile- one of the other bullies, Lexi wandered over to us to say hello!! Turns out we knew her owner, he lives in our same neighborhood! So Mason and Lexi are getting to know each other.....

Meanwhile- he's being VERY protective over the dang soccerball! He thinks that the other dog is trying to steal it! DUDE- my dog never usually cares! Well today he was a total JERK! The other female finally decided to run over and Mason, being a jerk, scared her by growling at her when she got to close to his soccerball! Well that was it! We were done- Mason does not get to behave that way. The other dog ran away!! Back to her mom! I was soooo sad for her and so mad at the jerk. So what does Mason do???

Stupid soccer ball!! Well we went straight home- all of his toys are put away for now until he learns to behave better with them.....he knows he is in trouble!

(Oh- and he's not really a jerk!! :) He was just acting like one!) Geesh! Dogs!! I felt like such a horrible, horrible pet parent!!!!

Sheets

2009-03-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

We need new sheets! Don't get me wrong we do change the sheets but right now we only have one good pair and that I have to wash and then put back on! Mason tore a hole in our 'good' pair- the pair that we bought with the bed set! I think when hubby is off this week we will get some new sheets!!! Our bed deserves them- we deserve them! I love my bed and I want to have some nice, new comfy sheets!

I hate having to take the sheets off, wash them and wait to put them back on. I like to have several sets so I can switch back and forth between them! I love clean sheets on a bed! I love to get into bed at night after I have changed the sheets and they are all clean. (most of the time they smell like Mason) Yuck- he can be quite smelly! :)

Day 1

2009-03-23T19:58:00.001-07:00

Today was my first day off for spring break! Know what I did? Layed on the couch w/ my bully! Then we went upstairs and layed in bed and watched some shows on the DVR, then I read some of The Shack....great book! But I fell asleep....not because it was boring but because I was being lazy. Then we came downstairs and waited for hubby who came home early! I made dinner, we had desert and now I'm ready to go back up to bed!

Tomorrow I know that I need to get more done! There is laundry to put away, sort, fold and put in!!! Maybe that will be my task for tomorrow! I also need to get this house clean! It's sooo gross!!

I'm still adjusting to being co-host! It's soo exciting-I just want to do a good job! It's a VERY, busy, active board and so I just want to make sure that I start interesting, new topics and respond to as many posts as I can. I love it though, but I'm already worried about what happens when/if I do get my BFP!.....will I need to step down? :( Sad to think about!!!

Andrew took wed-fri off this week and I'm excited! We are going to fill all the picture frames w/ pictures (because they are all empty!) and then get some more picture frames for the walls! I don't know what else we are going to do?? We talked about going shopping at some outlets! We'll see! I think he wants to go have sushi too! My favorite! Guess that's all for now! Back upstairs w/ my Bully!

Co-Host

2009-03-20T18:22:00.001-07:00

I'm sooooo excited! I made co-host of the TTC #1 board on JM!! WooHoo!

What to blog about??

2009-03-19T20:01:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to blog about right now....2DPO so I'm just hanging out! Andrew likes to read my blog though and likes to have something to look forward to reading at work....but I'm fresh out of ideas. Only have a half day tomorrow! YAY! 1 week off! I'm soo excited! Getting up this week has been so hard! I need to just sleeeeeeep in! I wanna veg, clean the house, fill allll the picture frames that are on the walls with no pictures :) and just relax!!! Andrew took three days off next week so we'll get to spend some time together! The bad thing about spring break is it always gets me completely ready and in summer mode! Still 12 weeks until that though :(!

Pink Friday

2009-03-11T18:46:00.000-07:00

http://www.pinkfriday09.org/

This Friday is Pink Friday!! I am wearing pink! Please, show your support for anyone affiliated within the education world and wear pink!! Friday is the day that pink slips go out to any and all employees being laid off who are in the education field. I myself am not being laid off, my district is not cutting any jobs but there are plenty that are! Due to the budget cuts and state financial crisis - education is being hit extremely hard right now in CA! If my district was handing out lay off notices- I would have gotten one!

I do not think it's fair that we cut money from the most important thing in a child's life! Why? Where's the logic? Let's take away teachers, books, materials, money and aides and cram alll the kids we can into as little classrooms as possible. THEN, let's overwhelm the teacher who has to deal with 35-40 kids to one class, some who need special assistance, some who are still learning english, some who are extreme behavior problems and try to teach them all the same thing! Right, because that will work! I can think of so many other areas that we can cut money from BEFORE education!

Without the children who are in school now, where will our country be 10 years from now? Without the proper education that these kids need, we all will suffer! It's law that kids go to school but yet we want to cut as much money as we can from schools as possible making the education that the kids are forced to get-not worth much! I'm tired and over worked as it is- I can't imagine having 15 more kids in my room needing even more attention and having less materials! Every child deserves an education and a chance at a bright future!

(*Ok, off my soapbox)

Mason

2009-03-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

I love my dog and thought I'd like to write about him! Is it sad that I look forward to coming home to him everyday- letting him out of his cage and kissing him hello? I love him sooo much! I feel like one of those proud parents who can't stop beaming about their 'child'- he's my bestest friend!

We got pretty lucky w/ Mason, considering he is an English Bulldog. We haven't had the breathing problems, pallet issues, hip dysplasia ....and other various health problems related to the bull breed! The only thing Mason gets is really bad rashes! (Like anyone really wants to know!)......

I was a cat person before we got a dog and now I can't imagine my life with out him. I have found that I am very passionate about animals! VERY! I love them and almost wish that I had gone into something to do with animals for my career instead of education. I just feel like they are so helpless and like it's my responsibility to help give them a better life! We keep looking for another dog, so that Mason will have a playmate but have yet to find one that will work w/ our environment and Mason.

Anyways- here's some pictures of my baby....

He thought he was going somewhere....

Life is tough....

Mondays....BLEH!

2009-03-09T19:16:00.001-07:00

Mondays SUCK! I'm sooooo busy! I feel like I run around all day and still leave at the end of the day with nothing done! I hate it! I am the kind of person who likes to feel like I got at least something accomplished in a day. I had a meeting that I forgot about until 15 min before! That took over an hour then had to meet with a first year teacher to go over a bunch of stuff and then when I finally got to get some of my own stuff done- it was time to get the hubby and head home! I keep telling myself that there is always tomorrow- and I do always find a way to get everything done!

Tonight when we got home from work - we took Mason on a walk down to the bank! It's a pretty short walk but he loooooves getting out! It's also nice that it stays light longer and it's not to cold and not to hot! Nice to spend some time outside and walking....instead of sitting at home in front of the TV or computer on JM (ha!)

Yesterday we had Andrew's brother and his wife over- they brought Doniven! My newest, cutest nephew!!! We hung out all day and then had a bonfire in the back yard last night while we BBQ'd ribs...Here's some pics!!

DH, Doniven and Me:

Mason and DH

Donnie, Jenny, Doniven and me ( I was on JM):

Donnie and Doniven:

AND Just for fun- The new TV:

Saturday

2009-03-07T17:56:00.000-08:00

Finally....a lazy day to sit around and do NOTHING! We have been so busy lately that I needed a day to just veg and chill out!!!! I stayed in my Pj's allll day!!! I love being lazy around the house catching up on TV shows laying on the couch and laying in bed! I woke up about 9 to breakfast in bed by my hubby. Then he brought me coffee and I watched some TV. The bully and I eventually made it downstairs and watched Real Housewives of New York and Millionaire Matchmaker! Andrew got a lot more done today then I did! He turned in our cans and got the oil changed in the car. He also cleaned up the backyard and cleaned out the bonfire pit! We are now starting dinner....Salisbury steak, julienne potatoes and broccoli. MMMM just a quiet night in with my Asti!

We don't have any movies to watch so I guess we'll just have to watch TV.....tomorrow is just church in the morning and then foundations class right after that. Don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow afternoon....probably nothing! HA!

I feel....

2009-03-02T16:31:00.001-08:00

SO much better now that my house is clean and the laundry is done. I took the day off because this weekend was WAYYY to hectic and busy! I had no time to clean or do any laundry and that stresses me out! So, today I got caught up! I did 5 loads of laundry- towels included. Plus got laundry folded and put away. I also cleaned my bedroom and bathroom. It's so much nicer to have a clean house.

The only downfall to today was that out TV downstairs went out!!! BLAH! That sucks! I guess we have to get a new one now because it's going to cost quite a bit to get ours fixed. I think we found one at Best Buy that we are going to get. Problem is that we have to have a 61" because of our media niche! Oh well, figures that once the warranty was up and we didn't renew that the TV would go out!

This weekend was one of the busiest I've ever had. I went out Friday night with a friend and had dinner at Victoria Gardens. That was fun! Then Saturday morning we had some errands to run and so we went by Andrew's brother's house to see the baby. We got home and had just enough time to eat some lunch and then get ready for that night. We went out to dinner for Andrew's birthday. We went to Red Lobster and then to an Ontario Reign hockey game! It was a lot of fun! The Reign won and they even went into over time which ended in a shoot out. We didnt' get to bed until midnight.

Then I got up Sunday morning for church- started my Foundations class and then went to service at 11:45. Got home around 2 and went grocery shopping. Got home, put it all away, started dinner, put in some laundry and started Andrew's birthday cake. We then ate dinner and picked up a bit and before I knew it, it was 8!! It was almost time for bed and I felt like I got nothing done! So when the alarm went off this morning, I called in a sub and stayed in bed! I did get something done though!!!!

P O'ed!

2009-02-28T13:00:00.000-08:00

She showed...I'm spotting.....on to Cycle 5!

Still no sign of AF....???

2009-02-27T16:40:00.000-08:00

Major UTI but no AF yet...im totally confused! Im on antibiotics now and afraid to test I don't want to see another BFN but....why haven't I started ???

any chance?

2009-02-24T17:31:00.000-08:00

Im off on my dates? O day that is.....im not sure because of CM....I tested this AM but it was major negative...but now im wondering if it was to early......no signs of AF at all......help!

High Stress Day!

2009-02-17T19:54:00.000-08:00

I felt like a chicken running around with it's head cut off allll day! Teaching third grade is not supposed to be this hard nor this stressful! But today sucked! After a four day weekend (which I am soo grateful for) I felt really behind. I always feel behind after long weekends because that means shorter weeks and more to cram in, in fewer days!

Anyways- I have a huge presentation tomorrow (or rather the second half of a presentation)- I have another school district coming into my room to observe an ELL lesson! I wasn't at all prepared and had to do it all this morning- plus prep the kids ahead of time! Today was prep day for that!

Then I started an after school program today- an hour and a half after school doing intense intervention! So, that cut my entire afternoon! About lunch time- I realized that we had some major issues that needed to be worked out before we could get started after school. Had a sub come cover my class all afternoon so I could get everything worked out and set up! Everything went fine, very smoothly- just sucks losing my entire afternoon and not leaving work until around 5 now (well on Tuesdays and Thursdays)! That leaves me tomorrow afternoon to get my prep done for next week! I could scream!

I also had to do sub plans for my partner teacher who was out with her sick daughter today! No problem- just one more thing on my plate. I also have a HUGE stack of grading that needs to be graded and entered into the gradebook. HA- don't know when that's getting done! No time as of yet! I just need to remember that there is always tomorrow!!!

I guess on a TTC note- I am in ANOTHER 2WW! Here's to another one. I don't feel p/g AT ALL! But hey I guess I'm only about 4 or 5 DPO- so it's still to early. Andrew keeps saying that he thinks we are going to be successful this cycle- he says he as a really good feeling and he hasn't said that in the past couple months of trying.....I guess we will wait. FF tells me that my testing date is next Wed- the 25th!

Been in hiding

2009-02-16T14:55:00.001-08:00

I havent posted in a while- not much to say- not much going on...

Going private!

2009-02-08T17:50:00.000-08:00

I think I am going private guys! Email me if you want to be added! :) I love readers...but don't want the whole world knowing how I am feeling right now..

reeds.ac@gmail.com

Another Freaking BFP

2009-02-06T20:43:00.000-08:00

Yep...found out today that one of my colleagues is pg...im seriously bitter and mad! Straight out mad. I asked if they were trying and all she says is well...we weren't really preventing...UGH are you kidding me? WHATEVER!

My Pendulum Reading...

2009-02-01T19:02:00.000-08:00

My questions;
Control: Am I married to Andrew?
Serious: Will I get my BFP in February?
Fun: Will we go on vacation this summer?

My answers.....
1. Thought for a while, then said yes!

2. No But then I asked if you will *get* pregnant in feb and it thought for ages then said maybe

3. Pendulum went all wobbly and bizarre, then said no

Almost afraid to believe...once again told that I'm not going to get my BFP this month..Last time I was told that I wasn't going to get my BFP in January- it came true! I have been told my 3 people that I am looking at March! DRAT! I want now!!!! As for going on vacation this summer-that was a long shot!! Money is so tight we probably wont' be able to afford it this year! Oh well! If I have my BFP by then, then I'll be OK!

Wine Tasting

2009-02-01T18:48:00.000-08:00

Andrew and I are a part of a wine club at one of the Temecula Winerys...They have the best wine I have ever tasted and they have a HUGE selection! We joined last August when we went wine tasting for my birthday and so every 3 months we have to go down to pick up our wine. We are a part of the sweets club....mmmm. Well since we are members we get free wine tasting. Every time we go we bring another couple to go taste with us. It's such a fun afternoon. We usually have lunch and then head over the winery and sit on the patio and try various wines..It's very relaxing. In this month's shipment we got a 2008 South Coast Winery Merlot Rosé., 2008 South Coast Winery Muscat Canelli, and 2008 South Coast Winery Gewürztraminer. They are all very good. I put in a bottle of the Gewürztraminer sparkling in the fridge for the upcoming week.

We took Andrew's brother Donnie and his wife Jenny wine tasting yesterday. They had never been wine tasting - we had so much fun! It was funny to see them try different wines and try to pronounce the different names! Next weekend there is a wine festival at Pechanga Resort and Casino...I would LOVE to go...to bad it's sold out and $65 a ticket....oh well! Here are some pictures from yesterday!

Andrew and I

My Sister-N-Law and I:

TMI...

2009-01-30T18:43:00.001-08:00

All I am going to say is that antibiotics and there "side effects" SUCK! Luckily though, this is happening very early in my cycle- CD 4 I think...so all I can hope is that it doesn't delay O!

I'm still bitter.

I saw yet ANOTHER BFP on JM today and I immediately felt bitter- I couldn't even congratulate them....I didn't want to....I was that bitter about it! What a horrible way to be, what a horrible person I feel like. I just want to keep asking why! I just want to have my own BFP but I have yet to see that and so for now I'm going to remain bitter...

I need a break...

2009-01-28T13:14:00.000-08:00

I need to take a break and calm my obsession! This TTC and justmommies is taking over my life...I want so desperately to be p/g but feeding this obsession is not helping anything!

As sad as it is to actually say...I guess I don't want to sign in to JM just to see other girls get BFP after BFP while I sit here w/out one. Im jealous and I want that! And you know.....it's my blog and im going to just say it. Yea, its hard for me to be happy for everyone else when I can't have that happiness....I know I will eventually, its just getting so hard!

I want to focus on my husband and me right now and our path towards creating our family. I just feel like I have let this whole path spiral out of control. It's just very hard for me to let things be and happen on their own....it's the control freak in me!

Last night I put the termometer away and have managed to stay off of JM and I have to say it feels good just let my self unwind and think....(well and the fact that I had an emergency root canal done yesterday). But I guess only time will tell .... we'll see what's to come!

Don't know what to say.....

2009-01-26T17:39:00.000-08:00

I'm spotting...very light brown barely even noticeable but none the less spotting :(

Temp tonight though is 99.15....I give up! I don't know what to think anymore!

Falling...falling.....falling

2009-01-25T09:51:00.000-08:00

Temps slowly falling! I knew I wouldn't be p/g! No sign of AF yet but still for the past three days my temps have been slowly falling. However, I have made it into my longest LP since going off of BC! I am 12 DPO today and usually have started by now-going off of my last two cycles.

I had a dream that I got a BFP last night- I haven't had that kind of dream at all since starting to TTC.... I'm still to scared to test because I don't want to see a BFN-I'm just going to wait it out for two more days. AF is due Tuesday! 2 more days-this wait is so hard to get through....I am driving myself crazy-it's all I think about. I hate waiting...

Limbo...

2009-01-23T19:18:00.001-08:00

10 DPO today and still waiting! Hoping AF DOES NOT show her UGLY face anytime this weekend! I only have until Tuesday but it feels like that is SO far away! I want so badly to just be p/g but I'm also trying my hardest not to get my hopes up.....I know if my temp starts dropping I'm going to freak out and be depressed all weekend.....luckily I have training all day on Monday and so hopefully that should keep me pre-occupied.....but I doubt it. UGH! Tell me how to speed up time!!!!

Waiting, waiting, waiting......and more waiting

2009-01-21T17:34:00.000-08:00

I'm 8 DPO today and just waiting...first I was waiting to O and now I'm waiting for AF! I think about TTC every minute of every day! Literally- I wish I could turn it off! Maybe I need to get back on the treadmill and run off some of my energy! I feel like I am going to drive myself crazy! 6 more days.....I have no urge to test, surprisingly! I have no urge to see a BFN! Ugh!!! I know I'm being negative but I refuse to get my hopes up again this cycle!

My day.....

2009-01-18T16:46:00.000-08:00

is being spent with this little guy- Chunk 'ems! My nephew, Doniven!

I love him so much! Makes me want one of my own even more....He's happily playing in his walker right...slobbering all over his self. Andrew and him are having a "conversation" at the moment. I love the little guy more then I can type or even say!!!! Mason, the bulldog, is fascinated with the baby. He never leaves his side and lays right next to the walker, or wherever he is. He cries when the baby cries- it's cute.

But...... I'm not really feeling it this month- don't know why- I'm just not getting my hopes up and not going to think I am! No symptoms, IPS, at least! Trying not to analyze or obsess at all and DH and I are still DTD- ha, we usually stop after I O. Well, off to play with the baby some more, now he's sucking on his blanket.

Temp today low....

2009-01-16T17:50:00.000-08:00

Why is my temp low today? Shouldn't it still be up? I mean I know it wasn't down in the 96's like most of my pre-O temps but it still worried me. I hate my body and I hate that I know so much about TTC....It is almost harder now because I over analyze every little thing and every temperature! I seriously am not getting my hopes up this cycle. I doubt I will be pg-I have already had 2 BFN's- we haven't done anything different this cycle except use the pre-seed. So-who knows. My chart was perfect last cycle and that resulted in a BFN- so I'm unsure about depending on my chart. That could go either way.

I just don't want to get my hopes up and be let down again. That is to hard to go through. I hate seeing BFN's and I don't want to keep seeing them. I am not testing this cycle until AF is late or until she shows. Andrew is right- it's just a waste of tests and money. Plus at least I won't see another negative. So....I will wait. I do hope my temp goes back up tomorrow though!

O time?

2009-01-14T19:10:00.000-08:00

I think, and I mean think, that I may have O'ed yesterday. I don't know how I knew but I just felt it- hard to explain my symptoms but my CM did dry up today! TCOYF says it's supposed to after O but I'm waiting to confirm with temps! I think we'll DTD a few more times just to make sure we got it!

I'm honestly not getting my hopes up this month! I don't want to be disappointed- I'm not going to "obsess" over IPS or the 2WW or my chart! Whatever happens, happens from now on! I'm just glad to be Oing! I got myself all worked up and worried reading TCOYF-wondering if I had any of the ailments she mentioned! I guess I'm still Oing on my own- especially after being on BC for so long!! I just don't know why- when I seem to want it the most, that I can't get pg? Why can't it be on my time table? Why can't I control it? I'm a control freak....I know!

I gave in.....well, hubby gave in and let me...

2009-01-13T19:25:00.000-08:00

buy more OPK's! We went to walmart and got some FRER OPK's!! Much better, however the line is getting darker on the IC's!! But I'm still soo frustrated!! Why am I Oing so late??? Last cycle I O'ed on CD 19 and that is THE LATEST I have ever O'ed-CM was very watery today! We'll see what tomorrow's temps look like! DH and I will continue to DTD!

I'm honestly getting tired of this TTC thing already and it's only our 3rd month after 2 losses! So really, I don't know if I can complain about it just yet! BUT none the less I want to be PG already!

I'm frustrated .... (What's new?)

2009-01-12T18:10:00.001-08:00

I am so frustrated with internet cheapie OPK's!

I can't get them to work properly for me!

I am NOT getting a + although my CM is telling me I am getting close to Oing!

I'm FRUSTRATED!

I'm almost tempted to go by some FRER OPK's tomorrow after work! I think I probably will!

I hate the internet cheapies.

........Oh well, on to more BDing I guess!

Cleaning out...

2009-01-11T16:03:00.000-08:00

I decided to clean out my shoes today! These are the pairs that I am getting rid of! I'll have to get a picture of the finished, organzed product..... They were getting to messy in the closet and some I haven't even worn since we moved in!! (That was 3 years ago)....Now my shoes are organized again on the shoe racks and I can actually see what I have. I'm throwing out about 30 pairs- which leaves me with about 75 pairs left! I love shoes- especially work shoes (heels!)....I always feel so much better when I clean things out. Over the holiday break I cleaned out all of my dresser drawers and got rid of a big pile full of stuff. Now my drawers aren't so packed and crowded. Each summer I clean out my closet and get rid of any clothes I don't wear anymore....now I just need to decide what to clean out next...

TCOYF...and a new dog??

2009-01-06T18:06:00.000-08:00

Yep- I bought the book this weekend! My husband, now, officially thinks I am crazy and have lost it to the TTC world- let me tell you though- wow I love it! It has so much information in it and it so easy to read. I can completely tell the different kinds of CM now, which was where my confusion was. The author does a great job at explaining things in such an easy manner and there are even pictures!! :) That always helps! I'm just about finished with the book- should finish it tonight. I also got my pre-seed in the mail. I like that stuff! Even Andrew liked it! Good job there!

On a completely different note, we stopped by the RC Animal Shelter today after work! There are SO MANY dogs there right now- it's so sad!! There are a lot of pit-bulls- which is really sad because the bully breed is really a great breed- if just given a chance! There have such heartache and sadness in their eyes. It breaks my heart every time I go in there and read their stories! We did find two females that we are interested in! One is named Laura, she is an unaltered female, brown brindle and white Fox Terrier - Smooth and Boston Terrier. She is believed to be about 7 mos old. So cute!! Another female that we are interested in is Francine. She is a tan and white Weimaraner and Labrador Retriever. We are going back tomorrow with Mason (our english bully)- to visit with both dogs and see their temperament! I'm so excited! Mason really needs a playmate!

I need to gush...

2009-01-02T22:01:00.000-08:00

about my husband! I truly have to say what a great man he is. I am one of the very lucky ones who found someone with a big, gentle, caring heart! My husband truly spoils me, even now, when money is tighter then ever! He always finds a way to take care of me and make sure that I have everything I need. Andrew is truly and completely my best friend! I love spending time with him, cuddling next to him, and holding him tight! I love walking hand in hand with him when we are shopping or sitting in the car. I love how protected and safe I feel when I am with him.

I have a husband who is the absolute definition of someone who is selfless. My husband puts everyone around him first. He puts all of my needs and wants before his very own. Sometimes I feel he is deserving of a better wife. I want nothing more but to take care of him, make him feel needed and wanted and for him to feel secure! I want him to know how much I truly cherish and love him with all of my heart. So here it is for the world to know and read- I love my husband with everything that I am! I can't wait to make him a father- I'm excited to be on this new TTC journey with him and to see what this new year brings us! I am utterly and totally in love with Andrew!

My "Bucket" List....

2009-01-01T19:14:00.000-08:00

As I let all things TTC consume me.....I thought I best take a break and write about something different. As the New Year is now upon us, I have been thinking about some things that I have always wanted to do....Will I ever do these things, I don't know, but I thought it might be useful to start writing some of them down...I will add as I think of more!

1. To go to Times Square on New Year's Eve and celebrate the New Year watching the ball drop and kissing my hunny while all the confetti falls in the street.

2. Actually watch the Rose Parade in person in front of the Norton Simon Museum.

3. Work on a Rose Parade float!! ( I have seen them in person- but never been a part of the process)

4. To snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef (Although I am quite scared of it!)

5. Visit Georgia- no idea why!!! I have just always wanted to visit that state-weird!

6. Take a cruise and buy a fancy dress to wear to dinner. ( like a prom or homecoming dress!)

7. Get hair extensions.. Ok- I know this one is a bit more realistic and I think I may actually do this in the near future. Let me explain...My hair just is refusing to cooperate and grow! I keep having it cut because it is so dead!! I also have very thin, fine hair and will never have beautiful long hair, so, my hair stylist suggested hair extensions and I am actually considering them...

That's about all I can think of.....for now....

Hmmm-I've been wondering....

2008-12-31T20:09:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking alot lately about OPK's! ( I know, I know all I do is think about TTC) But- lately my last two cycles have been so screwy! The worst in my entire life. First cycle trying I got what I thought was a + on CD 13- wayyy to early for me. Second cycle I got a VERY dark + (darkest I've ever gotten) on CD 17 and then still another positive (not as dark) on CD 18....hmmm I got two positives. That just didn't seem right to me- because then I supposedly O'ed on Monday- CD 19?? WTH?? I got the darkest OPK I have ever gotten on CD 17....I know, I know - that OPK's only predict Ovulation and it means that you will most likely O w/ in 12-36 hours but still....the really dark one confused me.

Then I stumble across this Article !!! I did order some IC OPK's this cycle because the FRER OPK's are VERY expensive and hubby refuses to support my POAS habit! Onto cycle 3- let's hope my cycle sorts itself out! I don't think I'll even start using OPK's until at least CD 16......I think that I definitely can get a + OPK- I just wish I didn't get more then one! It confuses me and then I start to wonder even more-how we missed it? Why can't I just know at the exact time when I am Oing?? Is it normal for someone to get more than one + OPK??? Should I keep testing until I get a -??? How do I even know if I am Oing at all? I am assuming I am because of my temperature. I need to be grateful for that.....

I need to relax!

2008-12-30T13:32:00.000-08:00

Now, is this even remotely possible for someone like me? Well, it has to be! I have to relax with all of this TTC stuff- I need to remember what the focus of all of this really is!!!! This is not a technical process- it is not a process I can control - it is not a process on MY timetable!! How can I let go of the control when I live my life constantly trying to control everything????

It's like now that I want it so bad- I can't have it! I just wish I knew when it would happen! I just wish I knew why it didn't happen these past two months. I think that I am in fact Ovulating just at different times then I'm used to. First cycle trying I O'ed on CD 13 this past cycle not until CD 19!!! My LP has also been significantly shorter! The only thing that I have changed or done differently is taking B6.....well I'm not taking B6 anymore. It did the exact opposite for me and I think it has screwed everything up! NO B6 this cycle- PreNatals only!!! Here's to hoping and letting go!

What did we do wrong....

2008-12-27T09:03:00.000-08:00

How did we miss the egg this month? HOW? We did it every day? Does this mean there might be something wrong? This also the second cycle that I have started early! WTF? I started today on 12 DPO. Seriously, my cycles have never been like this. What's wrong with me? Why is it that because I want this so bad I can't have it? Why is it so easy for others?

How do we do anything different next cycle? Should I call the Dr? I mean I know we haven't been trying long but - how did we miss it? That is what is worrying me!!!! There is almost nothing we can do differently this next cycle? I am already losing hope.....

Guess I'm out

2008-12-26T18:43:00.001-08:00

Negative HPT this AM! Cramping and spotting. I don't even know what to say or where to begin. Something is off, how could we have missed it? Seriously, how?

My Holiday Wish List...

2008-12-22T16:27:00.000-08:00

Got this idea from another blog and I really liked it! These are a few things that I would love but know that they are only dreams!

1. A diamond from Tiffanys... preferably a pink saphire ring or the legacy collection ring with a pink sapphire and diamonds set in plantinum.

2. To stay in an over water bungalow in Tahiti for at least a month with my husband.

3. A Lexus, BMW or Mercedes SUV.

4. A Burberry purse or coat.

5. To have my husband's parents back.. and get to meet them, sadly they died when he was very young.

6. A summer house in the Hamptons with it's own private tennis court.

7. A house in Coto so I can mingle with The Real Housewives of Orange County.

8. Snow on Christmas.

9. The deed to a diamond or platinum mine...all my own!

10. To be a Rose princess for the New Year's Rose parade.

11. A vacation for two (my hubby and I) to Rome, Paris and Florence and be able to speak French.

12. One more day with my MawMaw.....I miss her every day!

13. A kitten that would stay a kitten forever. ( I know this isn't possible)

14. A brand new car with a huge red bow on it, on Christmas morning. I always see the commercials on TV around Christmas time and wonder what that must be like.

15. I want to learn how to play a sport- tennis or golf. (Preferably Tennis because I suck at Golf)

16. I would love to get to meet the cast of Twilight!!!!!

17. To be in one of the Twilight movies.

18. Marry Robert Pattinson....and be with 'Edward' forever.

19. mmmm The meltaway mints from Pepperidge Farms.

20. To really make a difference in the lives of people who have it so much harder than I do! I want to really understand the fact that I am very lucky to have the life that I do and learn to appreciate it more!

VIP and some shopping

2008-12-20T18:45:00.000-08:00

I signed up for the VIP account on FF! I know I probably shouldn't have! Now I am just going to OBSESS over my chart!!! My temp was a bit low this morning- but I think it should be discarded! I had the therm in my mouth but it was taking so long that I thought that maybe the therm wasn't on?? So I turned off and back on and then took my temp! I just don't think today's is very accurate! I did take my temp again tonight and its up to 98.89. That's pretty high for me and I dont feel like its a fever or like I'm sick?!?!

My mom said yesterday while she came to help me at work that me being pregnant would be the best Christmas present! It could be this year's and next year's present!! haha! I got her something anyways because well, we won't know if I'm pregnant on Christmas yet!

Andrew and I did all of our Christmas shopping today and I have to say WOOHOO! We bought for EVERYONE (10 people to shop for) and only spent 240.00. I think that is the lowest we have ever spent. Money is extremely tight right now but I still feel like we were able to get some pretty good Christmas gifts for everyone. I mean, I know that Christmas isn't about the presents, in the past it has been, for me but this year is so different. I actually do not want anything- nor do I need anything! I have my husband, a great and supportive family, a stable job, my own house and the best dog in the world!! Anytime I really need something, like clothes or shoes or something like that- we always find a way to get it. I am for once, in my entire life, and I know it's sad to say but I am not expecting anything for Christmas!! I am just excited to give the gifts that we bought!!

Andrew and I aren't exchanging gifts with each other this year. This is the first year that we haven't exchanged gifts since we've been together! (9 years) but like I said- there is really nothing that I need. He takes very good care of me! I am having some "special" pictures done for him on Christmas Eve! He has always wanted me to get these pictures done but I could never find someone that I trust. I found someone! Another teacher that I work with is a professional photographer! I am so excited to have her take these! I just hope they turn out OK!

My General/TTC reading...

2008-12-15T20:25:00.000-08:00

The angels have a strong message about your TTC journey, which is that they are concerned about you holding in your nerves, fears and tears. Muriel urges you to let your inner voice be heard. Speak up and share what you're going through. Keep communication going with your DH. Never feel that you should keep to yourself all the thoughts that are raging around inside your mind and all the emotions that are filling you. Rachmiel is here to help you open to comfort and compassion. Allow those close to you to help you through the darker, confusing times. Never feel that you have to keep your worries to yourself. There are people around you who want to be there for you to lean on so please don't feel as though you have to hold yourself up all the time - you can lean on then whenever you need someone to carry you through.

Nathaniel's presence here reminds you to live life fully and passionately. Sometimes in the middle of TTC things become a little clinical and forced, and there's a danger that you will head in that direction. Please never forget one of the main reasons behind TTC - the love and passion you have for your husband. The key for you is to keep that fire flowing. Keep the intimacy going. Metatron has also come forward to help you make or deepen your divine connection, bringing the angels around you to help you on your journey.

Drawing a card for balance, the colour silver is important to you in the near future and weekends can be vital for keeping harmony in your life x

WOW- alot of what this says really hits home!! I am truly amazed at how true a lot of this is. I am now going to take this into careful consideration and really think about what it says. I don't know what else to say.....

Is this + or not???

2008-12-14T17:05:00.000-08:00

I know that the one on top is for sure positive (that was yesterdays OPK!!) but what about today? Is it positive still-just not as dark?? We DTD every day this week and yesterday and today (believe me I want to have my bases covered this month!) but I'm not sure if today's is still considered positive or not?? ARGHH-frustrating!!!

Hope...again...Postive

2008-12-14T13:30:00.000-08:00

Well last night I got a postive OPK! WooHOO!! I'm going to do it again today at the same time to see if it's still postive or if it is now negative! I don't want to get my hopes up to high though because I got a positive last cycle and thought we had it covered but some how we didn't! I have also see where some girls get positives but don't actually O! What the heck is up with that?? How could that happen? How do I even know if I am 'really' ovulating or not??? That's a bit scary! I guess I won't worry about it just yet!!!

I don't think my temps are working though. They are ALL OVER the place!! I can't tell what they mean at all. I temp at the same time every single morning! 5:15 AM and I don't get up or move around until after I take my temp! So maybe my body just doesn't like temping! Oh well! I'm hoping I O today and can enter the 2WW! Although the 2WW is horrible! It's so hard to get through! If I did O today or yesterday then I should know by the end of Christmas week if we are pg or not! Baby dust please!!!!

Why...

2008-12-12T17:57:00.000-08:00

Why am I sad today? WHY is it bothering me that I haven't gotten a BFP yet? I feel like I do this to myself day in and day out! I haven't O yet and don't know when I will- I'm hoping by CD 18 which was the normal for me! I just want it to be our turn! I find myself getting upset that it's not our turn yet!!!!

I want to be happy for everyone else around me (EVERYone else that is PREGNANT around me!!) I literally feel like everyone I know right now either just had a baby or is pg! But I'm not happy for them- I'm just going to be honest! I'm extremely jealous and don't even want to think about their pregnancies until I get my own! That is horrible way to be, I know, but I can't help it and I can't change it! It is who I am and how I feel right now. I feel like we really are trying hard enough and then I see people who are "not even trying" but yet get BFP's!!!! WTH! WTF! WHY?